Where do you work? What do you do? What college do you go to? Do you live by yourself? Are you taken? Who are you friends with? Why are you friends with them? Are you happy? What are your dreams? Are you even listening to me?
The questions never end, or at least it feels like it never ends. It is an everyday process. Sometimes it is an honest gesture; just some curious person who is genuinely interested in what I have to say. Other times its my mind over thinking and over analyzing every thought should I think of something.
Its a tedious thing. Being asked the same questions to the point where it feels like you are being asked them every other day, or every other week. I know it is the modern method of communication since most people can only express themselves in 140 characters or with Emojis, even if it is absurd like using an eggplant to represent a dick. Part of it is my fault, or maybe it is entirely my fault. Maybe I am just overthinking. Maybe I am not assertive person by nature. I know I am definitely not aggressive, so that leaves me as a passive person.
Maybe passive-aggressive, only because I find myself going “0-100 real quick”. No middle ground over here. But instead of telling people what I honestly feel, I end up saying what I believe they want to hear. And when they end up disliking what I had to say, I throw myself into some sort of mind frenzy, and feeling a little insulted.
But not because they didn’t like what I had to say, but because I put the effort to answering their questions, they way I assumed they wanted it to be answered. Its a problem, but as my mother once told me. “When you assume things, you only make an ass out of [u] and me”
But the real reason I am here venting this outrageous rant, is because no one ever asked the most important question. “Do you even care?
My answer 9 out of 10 times would be no. No I dont care what you think. No I dont care to share with you where I live. Who I have dated, Who I have seen. What I do, etc. Now all this sounds very pretentious and selfish, but maybe I am just those things.
But be honest, do they even really care? Are they even being honest? How many times have you been asked how you were doing, or what what you were up to without there being some hidden agenda. When, “Hey how have you been, I missed you”, really meant I’m lonely and no one else is talking to me. Or, “What are your goals”, really meant do you plan to move out of your parents house.
Surely it is possible I am just creating something out of nothing with my obsessive and compulsive thoughts, but I would like to believe I have a valid argument, or a gripe at the least.
I really just want a real conversation, a heart felt one. I dont want to feel like I just left an interview. And I dont want to have to worry about what I say because I feel like I might end up on TMZ one day. I dont want you to use the same list of questions to ask me like you did with 100 other people. Where is the creativity? Where is the realness?
Where is the minority? The people who actually value time and getting to know someone. The ones who dont let outside opinions faze them, or expect royal treatment of a one sided affair. The real ones who actually recognize real and respect it; and reciprocate the same energy and respect you gave them. Some of them must be out there right?
And even if that is not the case, I know there are others who feel the same way I do. Surely if 42% of Americans can vote for “The Donald”, there must be someone out there who shares my thoughts.
So just know, that if you are reading this, it is not too late. There are ways to really get to know someone, and to be more specific me. I really dont want my rant to be the only impression of me that you get, but even if it is, I would not care. Dont take it the wrong way, it isnt personal. If the conversation was meant to be, it will be.
And for the next time you want to talk, or ask anything, you should probably just start by asking “Do you care?” The answer I give you, or anyone else gives you, will save us another version of this rant. .